tipping tips
Thank you for asking about tipping your vendors who work(ed) very hard to provide you with what I hope is/was an amazing wedding day! We are definitely a hospitality/service industry, and tips are appreciated by one and all.
If you have cards/tips or FINAL PAYMENTS you would like me to pass out to your vendors, please prepare them in sealed envelopes with the vendor’s name on the outside (as well as any special instructions), and have this ready for me at your REHEARSAL. More times than not, when this is saved for the wedding day, it is forgotten by the client. Please note, if you have prepared a tip envelope for a vendor that I think may not have deserved it come wedding day, for whatever reason, I will certainly let you know. This is extremely rare!
· Personal concierge services (transportation – hair and makeup - tanning - basically, those vendors that you would normally tip on a day that is NOT a special event) should get a tip always. 15-22% is standard. You should generally hold onto the hair and makeup tips as you spend more time with them wedding day, and I do not always get to connect with that vendor.
· Some venues and/or caterers have gratuities built into their pricing. Sometimes it is called a service charge, and it is split amongst the service personnel at your wedding. Do not always count on the “service charge” being a tip, though. Sometimes, the service charge is actually going towards insurance/travel/kitchen fees/venue fees and not toward the servers/staff. It is best to check with your caterer/venue on a case by case basis. They should also be able to tell you things like how many servers or bartenders are assigned to your event, and you can tip per person an amount that suits your budget. It is nice to include a tip for your servers, bartenders, banquet captain, Sales Director if they have led you through the process, and maybe even your Chef! Again, totally up to you.
· Providing meals for your all-day vendors is important. Most of them will have it written into their contract (including us!). Typically, all-day vendors are there for 6+ hours or more, working very hard for you. Those that I consider all-day vendors who *should* get a meal are: Photographers {and their second shooter}, Videographer/Cinematographer (and their second shooter), DJ/MC/band (and any assistant), and your Coordinator(s). There are normally 2 coordinators come dinner time. If you decide not to provide a meal, please keep in mind that your vendors may leave to grab a meal. Vendors will want to eat at the beginning of dinner, when you do. That way, they can get back in time for the next formality- toasts, dancing, etc. Please note, you do NOT need to provide a table for your vendors. This is usually the best time for the vendors to “get away” for a 30 minute break, and most venues have an option outside of the immediate event space.
· Tips for other vendors- This is based solely upon your interactions with them thus far. If they have provided you with excellent service and exceeded your expectations in customer service, timeliness of responses, after hours calls or emails, etc., by all means, grace them with a separate gratuity. You may have heard that if the vendor is the owner of their company, they should not be tipped, this is outdated and frankly, weird advice. You should evaluate each and EVERY wedding vendor separately, regardless of whether they are the owner, or an employee/contractor. You also may like to write thank you notes and include a check, cash, or gift for your vendors with whom you have had significant interactions. Even Venmo works these days as a great way to send a thank you and a tip.
· Many other flat rate tips I see or have seen range from $100 or 250 at the lower end, to $2k or $5k on the very high end, and are for your other all-day vendors. Usually percentage-based tips are for concierge services only, such as hair and makeup, or transportation.
· I have clients who tip ALL of their vendors, and clients who tip none of their vendors. Please look at this on a case by case basis, and know, again, that none of it is required, but is simply & truly a gratuity for a job well done. Nobody should expect it.
· Reviews and sharing photos from the day are the best ways to thank your vendors after the wedding! WeddingWire, Yelp, The Knot, and Facebook are nice places to capture reviews, or your vendors may have separate preferences. This will ensure that future clients get to see what you thought of your vendors.
Please note, I have had significant feedback that many couples think they will wait until after the wedding to do tips, after seeing how the wedding day goes. 99% of the time, they then forget to do this after the wedding. If you want to make absolutely certain that you thank special vendor(s), my suggestion would be to prepare it before the wedding.
If you want to tip a vendor + their helpers, such as a photographer + second shooter, or a coordinator, and his or her assistant(s), you could prepare 2 envelopes or just one and let the owner handle the doling out of tips at their discretion.
For clients who are interested in further detail, I have spoken to a few vendors who have offered specific info on “regular” tips they receive. Everyone agrees cash is always appreciated in the case of tips, but feel free to do whatever works for you, and ask me if you have any clarifying questions!
Florals - average $250-400, wow $500+
DJ - average $150-250, wow $400+
Photo and video - average $250-400, wow $500+
Officiant - average $100-200, wow $250+
Your venue rep or Sales Director - average $100-200, wow $300+
Your rentals team is often overlooked when it comes to tipping - up to you, but $100-500 cash in an envelope can buy them lunch and cold drinks on set up day, and they work very hard (often in the sun) doing the most manual labor - I can handle passing this out to the various rental vendors for install.
Planner / Coordinators-
I’ve been asked if myself and my team usually receive tips - what an awkward question you ask, how dare you! Just kidding (sort of). I really do hate addressing this for obvious reasons, but so many of my clients have asked, that I have decided to record averages. Again, NOBODY should expect tips, and I always price my services so that I feel fairly compensated for the work I do for you. My day-of assistants (usually 2 for a wedding - feel free to ask) and I are grateful for any gratuity you offer, either for or in conjunction with the pre-planning of your event and your time with me throughout the planning process, or for the day-of portion; but we never expect it. Same as above, you are welcomed to put it in one envelope, or prepare separate envelopes or your planner and day-of coordinators/assistants. I would say it is most common for my assistants to receive $100-200 each - you can rest assured as well that all my staff is fairly compensated, generally double industry standard. As for myself, I have received gratuities than range from $250 to $6000, depending on the size, budget and logistics of the wedding, and whether I did partial or full planning, and for how long. This is a huge range, and I have zero expectations. I am truly most honored and humbled by your wonderful reviews after your wedding for myself and my team.
Incidental tips - It is always appreciated to receive an envelope with $100 for a smaller wedding to $200 cash for a larger wedding in 10’s and 20’s for incidental tips - valet for help with your set up boxes across a large property, a $20 here or there for a cake delivery person, or a bellman, a rentals rep or lead who went above and beyond working on something particular, etc.